Photo Set
Text

stephaniealive:

alecats:

books are just dead tattoed trees

That’s metal as fuck

(via kikithegirl)

Source: enerds
Photo
Quote

"Even if we’re married for 23 years,
I still want you to flirt with me."

- A novel written by me. (via princessariel2323)

(via rewritingyourreality)

Source: princessariel2323
Photo

detectivanilla:

percymyjackson:

So my driving teacher has three fingers on one hand and four on the other and he makes puns about it and it’s great.
And today he was like
“I went to the museum and found my ancestors’ look guys!”
And showed us this…

WHY DOES THIS NOT HAVE MORE NOTES

(via rewritingyourreality)

Source: percymyjackson
Text

yoiplait:

terms for penis you should not use in fics:

  • love stick
  • doinker
  • schlong
  • wankie
  • ding dong
  • 100% all-beef thermometer
  • bologna pony
  • stinky pickle
  • magic wand
  • divine rod
  • love muscle
  • power drill
  • captain winky
  • yogurt slinger
  • DNA rifle

(via freecaramel)

Text

snorlaxatives:

why the fuck does everyone in the purge movies want to kill people if crime was legal i’d find a way to erase my student debt and also probably steal a bunch of new clothes

(via moriarty)

Source: snorlaxatives
Photo Set

johnlockandthedoctorsblog:

fuckyeahwomenprotesting2:

freedominwickedness:

In medieval culture, an event like a royal christening is not a private party; it’s the public social event of the year. To not invite any person of rank to such an event is a deadly insult.

Maleficent is certainly someone you wouldn’t want at a party, but she’s also someone powerful enough that only a fool would ever dare treat her with such blatant disrespect. The only way the King and Queen could possibly have gotten away with not inviting Maleficent was to not invite any of the fairies at all; inviting the other fairies and excluding her is explicitly taking sides in the conflict between the fairy factions.

Which means they made themselves her sworn enemies, and she responded by treating them as such from then on. If you actually get into analyzing the social dynamics of the scene, it’s very clear that Maleficent was willing to show mercy at first by giving the King and Queen a chance to apologize for their disrespect to her. She doesn’t curse Aurora until after she gives them that chance and they throw it back in her face with further disrespect.

And yeah, if the King and Queen had done the properly respectful thing and invited her, Maleficent would have given Aurora a scary awesome present. Moreover so would the other fairies, because at that point both sides would be using it as an opportunity to show off and one-up each other. What they gave her before Maleficent showed up was basically just trivial party favors by fairy standards.

How do you know so much about the social dynamics of medieval fairies

How don’t you

(via cumber-porn)

Source: britta-perry
Text

ussawesome:

when you spell a word so wrong that spell check is like i dont know what to tell u man

(via tea-m-alice)

Source: ussawesome
Text

urbanclictionary:

doin a group project likeimage

(via tea-m-alice)

Source: urbanclictionary
Text

abbygubler:

itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

the fuck kind of romeo and juliet is this 

(via tea-m-alice)

Source: itssexualhour
Chat
  • 15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
  • me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance
Source: birbrightsactivist
Photo
Photo Set
Photo Set

spncapsdaily:

“My head.”
“Sam? Hey, what’s going on? Talk to me.”

(via jessicaofthewall)

Source: spncapsdaily